Fun With English in Asia

As I sit in the room of my hoteru (the Japanese word for “hotel”) I have the heat/AC on its “Auto Wind” (auto fan) setting and am being sure to mind the “No smorking in bed” sign permanently etched into the headboard next to me. 

Clearly “smorking” is not allowed, so what are my other options? I could head downstairs to partake of the restaurant advertised as, “Let’s enjoy Japan-China delicious collaboration.” Or maybe I should just go grab an “Ice Cream Corn” from the little stand on the street. Ah, but according to the sign in the elevator, “Guests are not allowed to wear nightwear and slippers and eat in the lobby” so if I just wear the nightwear down there but bring the “ice cream corn” up to my room to eat it, I should be fine.

But before I come back inside, I should really see what that “Lord Watching Shop” next door is all about. I bet that’s got to be quite a store! Ah, or the “Hair Café”—I bet that’s super yummy, or rather… stylish?

You know, better yet, I should just stay in my room and start to settle in for the night—I could make some nice, relaxing “homely refresher ideal gift” tea. And then go ahead and use my Hello Kitty toothbrush, apply some “Eye and Lip Remover,” to take off my… I mean my makeup, and get to bed.

For those who have spent time in Asia, I think you know what I’m talking about—yes, the English really is this far out. And yes, Hello Kitty is everywhere.

But it sure makes every day a little more fun. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that I can keep a good grasp of my own language over the next couple months of tour. Keep reading my blogs to find out!

Hmmm… maybe that’s not the best way to advertise… Well then, maybe this is better: “Let’s enjoy Asia-English delicious collaboration” for a while!

I just hope that when I go to the airport to leave this place, I too will be able to be part of the “Cute Club” as a frequent flyer.*

* No, I am not making any of this up.